IT'S TIME TO STOP ALL THE MADNESS LADIES

Ladies... I need to deal with ya'll today.. I have seen so much compromise going on amongst us.. it has been heavy on my heart for quite some time to address this.. so here I go..

Ladies.. first off stealing someone elses man is first a bad seed to sow but second a bad start. How can you ask God to bless a relationship that started on deceit, lies, and pain? Its not possible. So here you are now with a man that you stole from someone else.. and yes the saying is OH SO TRUE if he cheated with you he will cheat on you.. dont think your exempt from this. Ladies a man wont change for you. It has to come from within and if you think stealing him from her and then thinking he is gonna change is gonna work..you're setting yourself up for heartache. Not only that... You will constantly be insecure.. yes you may no think you will be but it will creap up on you.. you are gonna feel guilty you took him froms omeone else and the whole time conciously or not you're gonna think he's cheating... DUH HE CHEATED WITH YOU.. yes sis he's gonna cheat on you..

Second ladies.. this division between us HAS GOT TO STOP... This has been an ongoing topic between Isaiah and myself in the last few days.. There is so much division between women.. it's disgusting.. why are you hating? Cause she has everything you wanted? WELL only YOU are stopping YOU From having it.. STOP HATIN on everyone elses favor gifts anointings and blessings. If you would stop all that you might be able to see that God has something for you as well. This race division is rediculous.. it really is.. just because I am not black does not I WILL REPEAT DOES NOT mean that I cant date a black man. AND IF I CHOOSE to date a black man I should not have to hear things being said like "I cant believe you would date a white girl" or here how about this one.. "You're an educated black man I never thought you would actually date a white girl" ARE YOU SERIOUS?? Is that the attitude you're carrying around? Tell me where God sees color? PLEASE TELL ME WHERE HE SAYS BLACKS AND WHITES AND ASIANS AND HISPANICS AND PACIFIC ISLANDERS etc should NOT DATE... you cant.. because those statements aren't godly they are stupid and ignorant. Those thoughts and ways of thinking are stopping many women from having relationships. Do you understand that? I have homegirls.. that look at guys and see the girl he's dating and will say... why would he date her she's not even cute... WHAT??? If that man chooses to look beyond the skin and inside then I give him MAJOR props. Then you have these females that are so bitter that they just want everyone else to join their bitter party.. NO WAY not me.. I escaped bitterness I will NOT fall back into all that.

Bitterness can take root in a womans soul and never let her go. She walking around mad at everyone.. It doesn't matter what they did.. they coulda brought her flowers and she says they aren't good enough.. HONEY if you dont make yourself happy.. no one around you is gonna make you happy. You need Jesus and a huge dose of him QUICK...

Then there's these women that think they are better then everyone else.. They put on a holy front but when they are alone.. their soul is exposed.. then they have to try harder on twitter fb and behind other network sites to put up this front that they are saved and virtuous.. ummm HOLD UP.. what part of virtuous is SHOWING YOUR CLEAVAGE??? Now dont get me wrong I like to feel good and I like to look cute but I dont put myself out there like that. FIRST off us as women are to dress in a way that glorifies God AND isn't suggestive... girl if you are dressed in a way to get men to look at you your intentions are all WRONG... Yes we are wrong too if a man is lusting after us because we allowed for a titties to hand out of our shirts.. YOU'RE JUST AS WRONG... get it together...

We as women have to do better.. WE HAVE TO... a lot of us are single parents.. our kids are looking to us as mommy and daddy.. and we are showing them that it's okay to be this fast lil girl and this playa lil boy. ITS NOT OK... We need to be bringing up little girls.. who hold onto their innocence that Love God so much that they honor him with their bodies.. Little boys need to know how to lead their families and rely on God not go out here and sell drugs and get in trouble.. It's gotten so out of hand..

The division amongst women is rediculous.. there's a racial divide there's a spiritual divide.. it's dumb.. and we need to stop it.. we need to stop empowering women to be these crazy out of control women.. and start empowering women to go back to our roots... the origins... where God really wanted us to be.. virtuous... proverbs 31 women...

It's up to us to stand together.. not women power... but virtuous women power...

that is all.. sorry if I offended anyone.. if I did.. that's probably a sign that you fit one of these categories.. lets talk.. I want to pray for you!!

THE "INDEPENDENT" WOMAN

For all the ladies proclaiming their "independence" with unbreakable confidence please read below to understand how YOU are ruining your interactions with men.Independent= not relying on another or others for aid or support. rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be under obligation to others possessing a competency: to be financially independent. sufficient to support a person without his having to work: an independent income executed or originating outside a given unit, agency business, etc.; external: an independent inquiry working for oneself or for a small, privately owned business. expressive of a spirit of independence How does independence relate to men & marriage? Simple! Independence is the antonym of the "unity" a marriage requires to survive & women have vehemently proclaimed their right &"love" for their "independence" Hence we have: -a high divorce rate in this country -women can't keep men for a long period of time because men aren't tolerating the self- centeredness of independence -women claim there are no good black men when the real issue is that men are turned off by the aggressiveness,over opinionated confrontational, authoritative challenging, macho residual behaviors of independent women -most single women are single mothers by CHOICE VIA INDEPENDENCE & men avoid these women because of all the insane baggage associated with dealing with single mothers -bitter angry women especially single mothers feeling duped by their blind allegiance to independence.....

How To Lose A Man As Fast As You Got Him

He's such a jerk.. He played me.. I didn't deserve this.. I'm not that bad of a girlfriend.... WHY?? This is something I hear so too often from women who have a bad break up... BUT GIRLS lets just keep it real for a second.. Sit down self examine. What is it that you were doing. Evaluate your fights.. what were they about?

Let me school you on a few things that really bother guys... even if you dont think it does..

Clinginess... a guy wants to feel needed but he doesn't want to feel like if he goes out with his boys you will lose your mind....

Insecurity... Now chances are you put up a front to get this guy interested if you're insecure.. because most guys wont even go towards an insecure woman she has a huge red flag waving above her head.. so since you put up a front to get him someday the true you will come out you cant hide insecurities forever...
going thru his phone his email his facebook... INSECURE
having something to say about every female he is associated with INSECURE
calling 27 times and texting 53 while he's out with his boys for 4 hours INSECURE

Inability to communicate.. Now ladies you might think men are brainless and only care about football and sex.. BUT THAT IS SO WRONG... men desire a woman that can come to him and express how shes feeling about certain things. Men do desire to fix the issues.. so communication is so necessary. Men are not mind readers if you dont tell them they wont know. So getting mad and screaming and yelling at him is just going to confuse him more and turn him completely off from being in a relationship.

NAGGING him to death... look ladies... nagging a man is one of the worst things you can do.. it's a sure bet he will leave you. Lets just keep it real you dont want to be nagged all day do you? You dont want someone complaining about how you live your life everytime you turn around. Everytime you guys get together your man is complaining.. NOPE so why do it? Even the bible tells us a few things about nagging
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife(even tho your not his wife you get the idea)
Proverbs 27:15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman
I think you get the point.. STOP NAGGING THAT MAN... or he's gonna leave it's just a matter of time.

TRUST IS A MUST... look if you cant trust a man because of what men have done to you in the past you need to STOP... and save this man from the drama you are about to bring into his life. Its up to you to heal from your past before you can enter into something else. Trust also goes along with insecurity... checking his phone emails fb all of it stems from a lack of trust and insecurities. Honestly sis you have no right to be in a relationship right now. That may sting but you need to let God do some work in you and if this man you're dating is the one then he will wait for you TRUST GOD!!

Negative Attitudes...YES even this wears on a mans nerves. He doesn't want to hear your negativity all the time. If your life is so horrible why dont you stop what you're doing and CHANGE... This also includes a lack of desire to become a better person.. none of us can ever stop growing we can always become better and once you get the attitude that you're where you want to be you have lost. No man wants to hear you talk bad about everything in your life.

If the stress out weighs the rewards of the relationship chances are a REAL MAN is not going to stay. He knows his worth he knows that God will reward him for his obedience and a nagging negative insecure non trusting wife is not what God is going to give him. You may be able to throw your money at him or your body, BUT this will not keep him. TRUST ME if you have the mentality that your sex game is gonna keep a man happy you are SO wrong. It may keep him interested in a booty call but as soon as something better looking comes along he will leave you for her. He may call some night that he cant get ahold of his other chic. LADIES know your worth.. Dont be this bitter broken woman that continuously loses every man she dates and sends a piece of herself with him. What I have learned is this.. if you keep it pure and you keep it how God intended you wont lose a piece of you if it comes about that GOD says this isn't what I had for you. IF you haven't given a piece of your soul you have kept it real.. you wont send a piece of yourself. You know a man and a woman who have dated can come to a mutual decision that this isn't what the Lord has for either of us and we cant pursue a romantic relationship but hey since we haven't slept together we dont have a soul tie we can be friends and maybe God intended for something else to come out of our coming together!!! Anyone who says you cant be friends is a liar. God didn't intend for us to go around sleeping with everyone and giving a piece away so that at the end of the day we're mad. NO he intended for us to bring glory to his kingdom... Ladies stop letting your emotions run you and if you're in a place where you cant get control of these things you have no business dating.. slow down let God do his work in you so you're better prepared!!!

Breaking up doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be a growth thing. A learning experience but as long as you remain bitter and broken you will never learn and if you cant learn you cant grow... I love you all!!!


T.I.A.
TRUTH.IN.ACTION

Big shoutout to the guys who gave me their opinions... Michael Pittman, Qasim Mitchell, Pastor Stephen Thompson, Dwight Nash, Bangloose, Mark Laturtue, and Steve Johnson!!! You guys rock thanks for keeping it REAL!!!

Why I Have Chosen Celibacy

The best sex is blessed sex WAIT FOR MARRIAGE!! #TeamCelibate.. a lot of you see me say this a lot!! Now the reasons I have chosen to be celibate!!!

I have been having sex since I was 15. There isn't much I haven't done in the realm of sex.. EXCEPT wait!! See I cant get my virginity.. my purity and neither can you, but what you can do is choose from this day forward to be CELIBATE to refrain from sexual activity until your wedding day! Now although you're not a virgin (assuming you're not) God can still bless your sex! Repent for the sex you have had now and pray to him to break the soul ties you have acquired along the way.

Celibacy is hard.. you have to get to a place that God is fullfilling enough for you to fight the urges. You have to keep yourself from situations that you would normally fall victim to those sexual encounters. Personally I dont find myself alone with a man for long periods of time and after a certain time of the day. Although sex can happen during the day you're more likely to engage in it at night when the mood is right LOL.. how corny but really... I know a lot of believers who safe guard themselves by not being with their boyfriend or girlfriend past a certain time of day.

Now personally I have chosen celibacy because of my own convictions. God has delivered from the pits of hell literally satan and I were on first name basis. I was having men lust after me in strip clubs engaging in sex in the "vip" room.. oh yeah by the way.. sex really does happen in the champagne room... for the right amount of money any girl in that club would have sex.. and since it was the most upscale club in houston... sheeks, princes, CEO's, Politicians, Rappers, Athletes, anyone who could actually afford it could have sex... now fast forward... God convicted me and showed me that this is where I would minister to people.. but how could I be having sex and minister to girls and tell them what it would do to them.. isn't that hypocritical???????? Duh Tia thats the point you cant witness to anyone while you're engaging in sexual activities.. that's when I had to make a choice what was more important my salvation or sex? I chose to follow God and the convictions of my heart.

So here I am celibate and the longer and longer I go I get more excited.. I no longer have the urge to masturbate or watch porn.. Sex isn't even on my mind and if I do think about it I think about how exciting my wedding night is going to be becaues it's going to be blessed...by the creator of it My God!!!!

Celibacy was a hard choice because I was so sexually active and actually I craved it.. but not only did God deliver me from it he took away the urges!! I know that if he can do it for me he can do it for anyone!! People ask me all the time aren't you afraid of losing a man cause you wont have sex with him.. UM NO... I'm afraid of losing my salvation if I do have sex with a man. IF a man cant wait and wont wait until marriage then he is not the man for me. No man is worth my salvation.. and no woman should worth you "guys" that are out there having sex. It's not just your salvation it's your heart, your soul, your health (mental and physical). If you think that having sex doesn't affect any of those areas you are being deceived and fooled. I urge you to at least consider the benefits of celibacy.

Here are a few
You can pray for your soul ties to be broken
You will get closer to God
You wont feel the pressures to "perform"

that's just 3 but personally I have clarity I dont have a lot of opposite sex stress I find my comfort in God instead the arms of a man that eventually leave. Celibacy has so many rewards!! And think about it!! Your wedding night sex will be AMAZING.. blessed by the creator of it.. YEAH HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG??

Just my 3 cents lol... God Bless

LADIES LADIES LADIES... let him go

LADIES... I've finally realized a lot thru my 28 years and many relationships that just haven't worked... some not my fault.. some were.. but what I've realized is this..

You cant make a man stay.. worldly or Godly men are men and once their mind is made up.. they are leaving it's just a matter of time. You cant change a mans mind. If he wants to go LET HIM. Holding onto him is just causing yourself more pain. TRUST ME..

Begging a man to stay is showing him that you can be an option if what he's leaving you for doesn't work out. That you will be there if what he's chasing fails. It leaves you hurting and vulnerable and if you do take him back he will just leave you again for another option. It's not fair dont do it. Dont beg a man to stay. If he wants to go let him go.

I know they say fight for what you want, BUT if what you want doesn't want to be fought for.. DONT FIGHT .. why fight a battle that you cant win. LOOK I know it sounds all romantic and right to say I fought for this with everything I have but he isn't gonna respect that. LET HIM GO...

Relationships are hard and if both parties aren't willing to fight for what God has brought together then LET IT GO.. it is true that any door God has opened man cant shut BUT God doesn't force us to be in relationships actually he doesn't force us to do anything... what he does is give up the chance... if a man doesn't want to make it work.. sorry sis.. GOD ISN'T GONNA FORCE HIM you have to just LET HIM GO...

No woman wants to hear this.. she wants to hear it's gonna be okay.. it's gonna work out just keep fighting... WHY? WHY fight for something that is not in your hands?? If he wants to go just let him go. SIS it will save you heartache in the long run. The momentary heartache it hurts it really does because you gave so much of yourself and you feel like how could he walk away if he loves me. Doesn't he understand how bad it hurts. MOST LIKELY no he doesn't.. that's why it's so easy for him to turn around and walk away...

If a man wants to go let him and dont sit around waiting for him to come back. He's not sitting around waiting on you. NO he's out living and loving.. so it's your turn go live and love.. dont lose yourself in a man. Men are temporary God is forever... God will fix your broken heart and eventually it wont hurt anymore and you will move on...

JUST WORDS OF ADVICE FROM MEEEE

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME OR TELL ME WHERE THE LORD HAS PLACED ME??

You know.. it's so true that with breakthroughs come attacks from the devil... and he does this because he sees we're growing and I must say today has been going wonderful and then someone attacked me.. and the thing that bothers me is that it happens so to often in the church and among believers..

See this person said things to me like "some of us have been married longer then you've been saved who are you to give advice on marriage" they did this hiding behind an anonymous formspring message.. Now I cant appreciate or respect that.. and to many not just me it's an obvious attack of the enemy which is sad becaue he's actually using another believe to try and remove me from what the Lord has for me... but I say this because so too often we as believers are attacked from fellow believers it's sad...

There is nothing in the bible that says man chooses what the Lord appoints.. And if I'm wrong then um someone please tell me and show me in the bible.. Nowhere does it say that your amount of time being saved reflects the work you will be called to do in the kingdom.. GOD uses everyone and he has a time and season that he uses them. For someone to come to another brother or sister and tell them you shouldn't be speaking of this is wrong. Why would you at anytime want to hinder what the Lord is doing why would you attack your brother or sister who is only doing what the Lord has called her to do. I can understand a person trying to give correction in an area but that comes from love.. not attack and you cant ever tell someone what their job in the kingdom is. I have a close enough relationship with the Lord that I know what I've been called to do.

What I'm getting at is the sadness that is brought on my heart towards these people who profess to be saved yet they are not showing it. Attacks are not from God... plain and simple. Its a sad reality that some of must face due to my past and me being so OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I'm going to face these attacks by lukewarm Christians.. and it's sad because these kinds of people are who keep our brothers and sisters from being transparent and open which is what God calls us to do. Yes I admit openly I dont know everything. No I haven't been saved for 20 years... But what I am is a walking talking example of what God does. What he places on my heart and what he has prepared me for is what I am doing... But I encourage you if you're attacking a brother or sister because you're mad check yourself... You're hindering Gods glory and the work to be done for his kingdom luckily I would never let someone like that bother me because I know but unfortunetly for some believers who aren't as strong.. will be turned away because of people like that.. I'M JUST SAYING the truth hurts and for some they cant accept it especially not from someone who has been saved for only a small time....

SACRED SCARS

The name Sacred Scars came to me when my ex and I were trying to come up with names for his MMA group... but the name just didn't stick for that.. but for some reason I knew I was going to use this name.. When? I had no idea.. for what? Still didn't know I just know that name got put on my heart!!

When Steve Whyte asked me if I was interested in doing some work with him I instantly knew that's exactly what Sacred Scars was for!!!

Sacred Scars our Testimony... Our pasts.. The things we've been thru that have scarred us.. Mine are my Sacred Scars.. My testimony is so important to my ministry. It's what I've been thru.. Not because God wanted me to hurt like that but because I chose that path and God allowed it... as I reflect on what my life has become I thank God even more for Sacred Scars.. I wouldn't go back in time and change anything I've ever done I dont bow my head in shame at what I have done. I look ahead and up at my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and truly thank him for everything he has given me..

It's the title it's the testimony..

Dear Future Husband

I haven't been perfect as a matter of fact I've been far from it..
I use to settle for his main chic.. I was okay with that..
As long as he came home to me that's all that mattered..
But then I met my sweet Jesus and He showed me something better..
He showed me that He had this amazing man for me..
One that would love me until forever but more importantly would Love Him even more

He showed me that if I waited and didn't settle that the happiness I would experience was beyond imagine
Our sex would be blessed
Our marriage would be a gift
It would show others the sanctity and importance..
It would reveal the love that Jesus truly intedend to be between 2 people

Oh future husband I've waited and prepared for you..
Knowing who you are now is such an amazing thing..
To know you have saved yourself for me..
Even though I'm not perfect you look past it
You look past my past
You see who I am
Your love for God far exceeds what I expected
The fact you lead me is just the very beginning
You truly have been sent from heaven..
Your an angel You make me better
I love you!!!

WAIT!!! When Did Women Become Bitches And Barbie Dolls

OK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH call this blog hatin call me a hater call it what you want.. but I cant hold my tongue anymore. When did it become cool for a woman to self proclaim she's a BITCH? Excuse my language.. but this needs to be addressed.. how can any woman of class or virtue call herself a bitch? hmmm.. and this whole barbie issue.. why would you want to associate yourself to a plastic doll that is easily broken and just as easily replaced...

Is that how women feel about themselves these days??? They are easily expendable..(just in case you dont realize what expendable is.. it means not worth preserving: not worth preserving or saving for reuse) replacable.. I'm sorry but I know that I'm a one of a kind.. God only made one of me.. Ladies.. the Lord says we are above a rubies worth.. I dont know about you but I know that rubies and gems are expensive.. but I can buy a barbie for my lil girl for like $10.. I'd much rather be associated to a rare gem.. LOL this matter is getting out of hand.. so many women (can I even call them women.. ) I'm gonna say GIRLS are walking around with this notion that it is cool to be a barbie and for us to call eachother bitches.. But how do you expect a man to respect you?? You're a babie bitch after all right? Hmmmm I'm sorry if a man called me a bitch I'd be rather irritated... and it shows where a man places you.. I know he'd never call his mom a bitch.. but I guess since we as women want to call ourselves barbies why in the world would a man even respect you as much as he does his momma..

I look at this situation as a slight epidemic.. a disease.. see it's spreading.. women dont have values or self worth.. and it's clearly showing in secular music.. tv.. come on.. You have to get almost naked and call yourself a bitch for the male counterparts... (other rappers) to respect your hustle?? hmmm how about not.. and how about these ball players and rappers going on tv to find love??? WHAT?? First off no woman of any substance or grace is going to go on tv, have sex with you, kiss you after you've just kissed 17 other women, or make a fool out of herself by chasing you.. so why would you even want that kind of woman? UM HELLO can you really take a woman home to meet your parents that got drunk and naked on tv to win your love? smh hey mom this is my biggest groupie.. she only wants me for my money but I think I'm gonna marry her.. wont she make a great mom LOL get it together.. women are screaming WOMAN POWER but all your doing is making women look worse.. teaching our young ladies that it's okay to bounce ur butt on the poll and it's okay to be a groupie a gold digger and have absolutely no morals or values whats so ever..

I think it's time for women to stand up as real women and teach these lost misguided girls how to be a REAL TRUE WOMAN.. and it starts now.. God is very disappointed in us but it doesn't have to remain this way..!!!

Ive said my part for the day... I will be adding to this.. but so far I just had to let it out that my heart is saddened.. and I'm actually on fire about this right now..!! I love you all God Bless

IT'S TIME TO KNOW OUR TRUE WORTH LADIES...

TRANSPARENCY and why I've chosen to be so open..

Transparency : state of being transparent: the quality or state of being transparent

Today I actually doubted being so open about my past and being transparent and as soon as the doubt came it left. WHY? Because my transparency is my #truth my truth is Jesus and I have this testimony and there's no reason for me not to be absolutely honest..

Let me tell you why I am so honest and open about my past and my present.. I have a past that is scarred it is ugly. I have done some things that aren't so pretty. Yes I have lived a glamorous lifestyle had everything I ever wanted.. built a career in the entertainment industry. I've done it all. Along with that came some ugly non glamorous things.. Its important for me to open myself to people because it is what God is leading me to do. When I meet someone I don't hold back if you don't know where I've come from and find out later it usually isn't pretty. BUT what I have experienced since returning to my walk with Jesus is the more open and honest I am with my past the more I'm respected and loved. Its amazing men I thought would turn away from me after they found out have been more and more supportive. Women who would normally turn away because they don't wanna be associated with someone like me have grasped onto me.. and actually call me their sister and friend. WOW the Kingdom has really raised up some MIGHTY people and when I'm down from the world they have reminded me how much they really love me and my past is nothing but a testimony and to some an inspiration. ARE YOU SERIOUS? These are real people.. and had I held back or lied I don't think they would be so understanding because when you have something you're lying about and holding back... people know.. TRUST me I have figured that out.. I have turned over a life of lies and gave it up. Lies build webs and you get caught up in them.

How would you feel if your man lied to you about his whole past.. and then eventually one of your friends or family members tells you... silence.. yeah it wouldn't be an easy thing to swallow. All kinds of things are going to go thru your head like why didn't he tell me.. You will be angry and if it's bad enough your probably gonna leave him.. BUT what if he had been honest with you sat you down and said LOOK this is where I've been I'm not proud of my past but I have overcome it.. I HAVE been forgiven but I need you know the truth about me... WOW how can you walk away from that even if it is horrible.. I couldn't I had a guy look me in my eyes and tell me he had been with over 500 women.. He had cheated on everyone even his ex wife.. he was so transparent and honest.. I couldn't walk away I think the night he told me that was the night I knew I was in it for the long haul.. although we didn't work out we left on good terms if just wasn't meant to be.. BUT we walked away without anger and hurt.. WOW we're still friends.. and that can happen when 2 people are completely honest and open..

When you go into a relationship lying and holding back your not giving your relationship a fighting chance. You cant enter a relationship with past wounds and hurt especially that you think you need to lie about. Its a recipe for complete disaster. God tells us not to lie and it's for a reason lie built upon lie upon lie.. it's not the fact you lied it's the fact that after you lied I cant trust you and why did you feel like you needed to lie did you think I couldn't handle the truth? Guys think women can handle the truth and for a long time I didn't think men could ever handle my truth. I was sooo wrong and God showed me that.

Yes there are some people that are definitely using my past against me even today some hurting woman is using it against me to raise herself up and make herself feel better about who she is. You just have to know that the people that are using your past against you are people who are hurting and broken. They have to pull you apart because they cant face themselves. Its not a happy place to be. I use to be that chic the one who would put others down to make myself feel better because I didn't care about myself and where I was. You really just have to pray for these people because there's nothing you can do. They have to find themselves and who they are and allow the Lord to heal them...

I thank God daily for giving me the testimony he has for allowing me to walk down the path I did in order to see what I needed to.. I wouldn't take back anything Ive done it makes me who I am and who I am I LOVE and can say that with a smile and finally believe it. I encourage you to be open to be transparent.. don't hold back.. Gods gonna get some glory out of our mess and if you can help someone avoid the mistakes you made.. that's all that matters.. THANK YOU GOD

GOD TO YOU BE THE GLORY YOU ARE AMAZING AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE YOU SHOW ME DAY IN AND DAY OUT...

Tia

There really are good men out there....

LADIES LADIES LADIES...
Its come to my attention over and over that women as a whole think that there are no good men.. COME ON... If you really think that there are no good men left in this world I would encourage you to do some self examination. Not every man is a dog. It might be possible that that is all you attract because you put yourself out there like that.. Do you have a ton of provactive pictures on all of your networking sites? Do you wear clothes that are less then tasteful? What does your mouth sound like are you constantly walking around talking like an uneducated sailors mouth? Where do you go to meet me? THE CLUB? THE BAR? OR WAIT did you take someone elses man? These are all factors.

No man is going to respect a woman that he sees online half naked or fully naked. Hes not going to take you home to his mom and dad if you cant hold a conversation. TRUST ME it's a great thing to be pretty and have a good body BUT if you're using that good body and looks to make men lust after you that's all it's ever going to be is a lust game until something better comes along. TRUST ME there's always something better. If you cant mentally stimulate a man it's a wrap. I use to put provocative pictures all over my myspace page and I LOVED the negative attention I got. I thought I was the dopest thing walking the ladies hated me and their boyfriends loved me. THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO BE.. it leaves an emptiness in you.

I'm not gonna say I know men like the back of my hand BUT I will say that I know a good deal about men. I know that a good man desires a woman that isn't flaunting her nakedness all over the internet of all over the town. No man wants to hear his boys talking about how bad his girl is. Its a fact. They dont care if the jumpoff chic is being talked about but his girl the lady he wants to make his wife shouldn't be the topic of conversation when he's with his boys. If you cant rep your man in a respectful manner then he's not going to want you. If you've slept with all his homies that's not a good thing either. Whats a man gonna do stand there on your wedding day with half his groomsmen knowing they smashed?

Do you get what I'm saying? Where I'm going? I guess today isn't a good day for me to write so Imma come back to this one at a later date but enjoy for now

REMINDER

Proverbs 31 ...Verse 10
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.



What is the price of rubies? Dorothy’s ruby slippers in The Wizard of Oz represented the means by which she returned to the safety and love of her home and family. She had them all along, but she encountered many obstacles before she learned that she could, at any time, have returned, if she had only known the secret. Your ruby slippers are your virtues. Put them on and never take them off, and once you do, you’ll find they’re quite valuable. They’ll lead you to Paradise. Whenever evil comes calling, just put them to work and think, “There’s no place like home ... With my Father.”

CONFESSIONS OF A SINNER

A CONFESSION

Does being virtuous, as the Bible teaches, seem like just too much to ask in today's world? As your sibling in Christ and your friend, I tell you with all honesty, I understand what you're feeling, and I myself put virtue on hold for many years because I thought I'd be missing something exciting if I was a little Goody Two Shoes.

I have to confess that I purposely avoided seeking and learning what the Bible teaches about being virtuous, because I knew I'd feel guilty for not wanting to actually live it. I knew I'd feel like more of a sinner if I actually saw the words with my own eyes and chose not to adhere to them.

I felt like I was protecting myself, because I could plead ignorance! Very clever how the enemy of my soul CON-vinced me of that. Bottom line ... I felt like I just wasn't ready to be virtuous yet. I didn't want to be, I didn't care, in fact, I was so lost that I believed it was cool to be naughty.

I wish now that I had made different choices. I wish I had been smart enough to realize what a dangerous place my soul had been in, and how easily I may have been persuaded to do even more extreme things that would have landed my soul in hell if I hadn't been rescued in time.

I was very close to the edge of a cliff, so to speak.

A Daughter Of Heaven A SOLDIER 4 CHRIST

I am a soldier in the army of my God. The Lord Jesus Christ is my commanding officer. The Holy Bible is my code of conduct. Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare. I have been taught by the Holy Spirit, trained by experience, tried by adversity, and tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this army, and I am enlisted for eternity. I will either retire in this army at the second coming or die in this army; but I will not get out, sell out, be talked out, or pushed out. I am faithful, reliable, capable, and dependable.

If my God needs me, I am there. If He needs me in the Sunday School to teach the children, work with the youth, help adults or just sit and learn, He can use me because I am there! I am a soldier.

I am not a baby. I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, pumped up, picked up, or pep talked. I am a soldier. No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me. I am a soldier. I am not a wimp. I am in a place, saluting my King, obeying His Orders, Praising His name, and Building His Kingdom.

No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards, candy or give me handouts. I do not need to be cuddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to. I am committed. I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around. I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside. I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into this army, I had nothing. If I end up with nothing I will still come out ahead. I will win. My God has and will continue to supply all of my needs. I am more than a conqueror. I will always triumph. I can do all this through Christ.

The devil cannot defeat me. People cannot disillusion me. Weather cannot weary me. Sickness cannot stop me. Battles cannot bruise me. Money cannot buy me. Governments cannot silence me and men cannot handle me.

I am a soldier. Even death cannot destroy me. For when my commander calls me from this battlefield he will promote me to captain and then allow me to rule with Him.

I am a soldier in the army and I'm marching claiming victory I will not give up, I will not turn around. I am a solder marching HEAVEN BOUND.. I am a daughter of heaven a soldier 4 Christ

FATHERS LETTER

Father's Love Letter


You may not know me, but I know everything about you ... Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up ... Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways... Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered... Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image... Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being... Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring... Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived... Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation... Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book... Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live... Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb... Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born... Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me... John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love... 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you simply because you are my child and I am your father... 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could... Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father... Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand... James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs... Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope... Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love... Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore... Psalm 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing... Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you... Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession... Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul... Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things... Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me... Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart... Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires... Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine... Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager... 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles... 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you... Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart... Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes and will take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth... Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus... John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.... John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being... Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you... Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins... 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled... 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you... 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love... Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me... 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again... Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen... Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father... Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is...Will you be my child? ... John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you... Luke 15:11-32

HANDS

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands
is worth about $33 million
It depends whose hands it's in
A baseball in my hands is worth about $6
A baseball in Chicago White Sox's Mark Buehrle hands is a perfect game
It depends whose hands it's in
A tennis racket is useless in my hands
A tennis racket in Andre Agassi's hands
is worth millions
It depends whose hands it's in
A rod in my hands will keep away an angry dog
A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea
It depends whose hands it's in
A slingshot in my hands is a kid's toy.
A slingshot in David's hand is a mighty weapon
It depends whose hands it's in
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in Jesus' hands will feed thousands
It depends whose hands it's in
Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will
Produce salvation for the entire world
It depends whose hands it's in
As you see it depends whose hands it's in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends whose hands it's in

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd = That's Relationship!
I shall not want = That's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul = That's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance!
For His name sake = That's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's Testing!
I will fear no evil = That's Protection!
For Thou art with me = That's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies = That's Hope!
Thou annointest my head with oil = That's Consecration!
My cup runneth over = That's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life = That's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security!
Forever = That's Eternity!

HOLY ABCS

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without Universal Love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking ALL for EVERYTHING
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with prayer
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

HE STILL MOVES MOUNTAINS...

WOW what an amazing day today.. I cant even explain it I can only say that God still moves mountains.

I was invited to a new church today and gladly accepted the invitation!! The devil worked very hard and diligently to keep me from going he put so many obstacles in my way even up to the time I stepped foot in the church. WOW am I excited for what God has for me. For the devil to try his hardest to keep me away... Today my world and life was given confirmation peace and all doubt was removed from my heart. FAITH is what you HAVE to live by in order to push on to the next level.. I stepped out in faith last year and God taught me how to fly :) I cant imagine where I would be had I kept going in my will instead of the Lords... I can say that I have never felt such fullfillment then I do now... Thank you God for your faithfullness your loves and most importantly YOUR GRACE I'm forgiven and will never turn back... Like I was told today.. IT'S OVER!!

amen

Bitter and Broken? WHOLE?

She wants a white wedding, a knight in shining armor,
Willing to provide and protect from anything that comes to harm her
He is prince charming his presence is heart warming
Bright smile, nice shoes and he smell so good it’s alarming
He is manicured and manner able and manhood oozes of his pores
He is good to his mother, a gentleman one your grandmother would adore
He is strong and gentle, generous and hospitable speaks well he has it all its there
He understands your strength and womanhood so he handles you with care
And your criteria is non-negotiable he must meet all the above
Funny in her world she doesn’t have to be perfect but he does
But what I find to be a trip is how quick the script can flip
When chics chase a million dollar weddings but have a two dollar relationship
Am I lying? Don’t know why you’re so surprised to hear the truth
Pretty women put themselves in painful positions for the sake of being cute
Per that hair until it sizzles, girdle to pull the middle
Girl I saw the shoes & had to get them they fit tight, but really they’re just too little
Then she says I’ll get them stretched but getting them stretched is just a quick fix
You’d be better off if you simply bought shoes that fit
But you won’t put that much in your relationship; relationships would take a different direction
If I have to love you like Christ loved the church then love me like you love your shoe collection
But why would I be silly enough to think you’d find the right pair of shoes
When you’re not patient enough to wait on the right dude
And when he does come and its not the pretty picture you pictured some of you tell your future husband to run along
Because some pretty women think every time a guy says hello it’s a come on….
And I know some guys are dead wrong sisters the bottom line
Is that the quality of men has declined…but there still are good men
With a great work ethic willing to work at it, work for it, work toward it, work to it,
Problems rise mami no problem we’ll work threw it
I’ll work on it, work with it, I’ll work magic
Work on our future for better or worse we’ll work passed it
And after all that work one thing is for certain
I am a good man and I ain’t scared of working
But baby girl if you’re not ready to work you may not be ready to marry
Because the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary
They say when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing
But he cant find you because you are chasing fairytales and diamond rings
Unrealistic expectations, looking for validation
But there’ll be no happily ever after only disaster without God as a foundation
And stop comparing potential mates to your past men
If you miss that negro so much then go and be with him
You see marriage is forever but what looks pretty fades
But true inner beauty will sustain you all your days
But when you have such a shallow criteria for your soul-mate what that behavior displays
Is that pretty women can have the ugliest ways
Because its not about your physical attributes or your facial features
God don’t like ugly and he aint crazy bout pretty either…

By Se7eN

Lost Love

I didn't give up on Love I just gave up on YOUR Love....

Your love required me to not love myself
Your love required me to hurt and cry
Your love was never there for me.. but there for everyone else

I couldn't handle what your love had to offer me...
it was the left overs of what you gave everyone else..

Your love sold me a dream... a dream of happiness but reality was broken promises
Your love wasn't love at all..
Your love hurt my kids...
Your love required late nights crying myself to sleep

I just couldn't do YOUR love anymore....

Coulda Been You

Damn, just found a photo of me and you
Just heard a tune we used to make love to
Them were the days when you were my baby
I thought my life was perfect
But you weren’t real with me
You made yourself suspect to the point I couldn’t trust you
You pissed me off everyday
All we did was argue
You was the issue
You stressed me out to the point I can’t breathe

And it’s sad to see so much has changed
It’s crazy
All I can say
Boy, it could’ve been you
It could’ve been you
It could’ve been you
It hurts to know
Cuz a part of me still cares, girl
It’s strange, (?) coulda been a better way
Boy, it could’ve been you
It could’ve been you
You know it should’ve been you
It’s too late, boy

It hits my stomach that you couldn’t treat me like a woman
And I bend over backwards
I don’t understand
You playing me
You claim to be with me
Soon as I fall asleep
You with another
I don’t get it
It’s like my love was never good enough
I wish I knew your intentions before
I swear to God
I wouldn’t push so hard
I would’ve seen it for what it was....

Motivation...

You don’t need anyone’s help to be
a failure in life. You can do that all
by yourself. But you cannot be a success
in life without the help of others.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve
learned about success is to remain teachable.
Ego, pride, resistance, procrastination and
fear are destroyers of success. If I seek
praise more than I seek growth, than I’m
out of balance. I’ve learned from the input
and insights of others. I’ve learned that
a diamond is dull without some polishing.
I’ve learned that the rose bush has
to be pruned in order to grow more beautiful
roses. The pruning may not feel good but the
gardener knows it must be done or the rose
bush never realizes its potential.
Insecurity, ego, pride and a closed mind
are weeds in your garden of success. You will
grow as you welcome the strengths, wisdom,
support, mentoring, feedback, pruning and
polishing from others.... Jewel Diamond Taylor

THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE

So this blog started because one of my homeboys asked me... "If your future husband bought u a Kmart ring and told you he would upgrade it in a year, would you still say yes" I answered honestly but what bothered me was the answers he had gotten from many other women.
1. NO
2. If he put it in writing he'd upgrade it

But I'm the only one that said yes. See our society is so stuck on material things. It saddens my heart that it's not about marriage anymore it's about the ring.. the wedding.. the dress.. Its not a marriage. This is why so many marriages fail. Why so many kids are raised in broken homes. My moms diamond is so simple and only a Karat which my father didn't get her until about 15 years ago.. they've been married for 30... Before that it was a simple band with gold nuggets in it from his first gold mine.

So why have you spiraled out of control. Why is our generation so lost. I believe with all my heart it's a lack of knowledge and a desire to BLING. Lack of knowledge of God and the sanctity he puts on marriage. When you get married you become one. One person. Its not about just you anymore it's about "we" "us" When you have problems it's not suppose to be a problem u bring to ur mom and ur dad and ur grandma and ur sister and so on and so on it's about bringing ur marital problems to the Lord laying them at his feet and trusting that he will deal with it. Another problem is so many women are so quick to cut their man off from sex... The bible states.
"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Now lemme explain this a little bit...when you deprive your husband of sex he is now open to temptation to the devil. Even more then he already is. As a human being it is a need for most. To have sex and if your not giving it to your man then what do you expect. I'm not saying it's ok for him to go cheat... but if you cut him off you did open the door for the devil to creep his way in. Its not holds bar when it comes to a man and wife behind closed doors...

When you dont have the Lord in your relationship it's 2 people struggling even harder. Yes every girl grows up wanting a dream wedding with 10 flower girls and a million bridesmaids with a big diamond ring.. bur realistically... if your man gives you a ring and you turn it down because of where it's from.. then you really shouldn't be marrying that man... it's not about the ring.. its about the love and unity that you two share...

Get it together ladies... you all wanna complain about there being no good men... well maybe you're just not a good woman...

Again I dont care who I make mad with this blog... if you're mad... TRUTH HURTS DONT IT...

REMEMBERING YOU

Its been a year now.. I cant believe yesterday was a year since you left this world... Sweet little baby of mine... I didn't want to lose you... Poor choices.. mistakes... listening to the world instead of my savior.. Why do we make the choices that we make.. when we walk away from the Lord and ignore what he is saying to our heart..

You became my testimony of celibasy.. of purity... of living a life without experiencing this kind of pain. Your life symbolizes so many things to be taught everyday I think about you dont think I didn't love you... I'll see you in heaven someday I know I will... but for now.. I let you rest.. back with the Lord you went.. I guess he needed you more then I did.. I love you sweet baby of mine...

I'm sitting here crying... you didn't get to experience this life.. yours was cut so short.. But I know your in his arms for now I'm going to go... ur life was not in vain.. sweet baby ...

love mommy

Affirmation for a Single Woman

I'm learning to enjoy and accept being single. Yes, I am an attractive woman of intelligence and experience. I am complete whether I am married or single. I love myself and more importantly, I love the Lord.
He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart. Just because you don't see me with a mate or a date, doesn't mean that I must be attracted to my same gender. I'm learning to love, appreciate and understand myself before I allow someone else in my life to appreciate the sugar I'm storing on the top shelf. I'm complete, whole and enough whether in a relationship or not. My worth is not determined by whether I am married, divorced, single or engaged. My heavenly Father told me I'm above a diamond's worth and a gem doesn't seek … a gem is sought and cherished.
As a woman, I know it's not my role to chase after or change a man. Esther 2:1-4 states that I am to wait on my King. Since I'm learning how to cherish, value, love and honor myself, I am enjoying my life and thankful that in God's timing I will attract my divine right mate.
I am willing to heal, grow and let go of any fear or low self-esteem. I thank God for giving me the patience, discipline, and self-worth to discern what and who is best suited for my time, lifestyle, standards, heart, body and soul. He will know that making love to me requires caressing my mind before caressing my body. I'm thankful for the mind and daily activities that keep me strong, active and centered in peace and satisfaction vs. restlessness. I have spiritual gifts and goals to pursue. I am learning self-control to avoid the weakness of the flesh or the pressures of others and not lower my worth or values.
My divine right mate could show up in the most unexpected place or time. I will stop missing events, activities and experiences in my life just because I am single. I am taking my life's happiness out of layaway. What I am seeking, is also seeking me. So I keep myself healthy, loving, active, spiritually strong and wise to become an irresistible magnet for all the good that God has in store for my life. My inner wisdom teaches me to focus on the internal vs. the external, the truth vs. denial, my heart and just not just my hormones. As I read this affirmation daily, I am encouraged, strengthened and empowered to radiate with wholeness, love and self-esteem. I am free of any shame, guilt, anger, grief, depression or neediness. I am loved and I am loving person.
I realize that a great boyfriend is not necessarily the best candidate for a husband. I will give myself permission to enjoy companionship without disrespecting or neglecting my children, my health or my personal goals. My happiness is not dependent on whether I have a mate or not. My attitude of joy and completeness begins with me and my relationship with the Lord

Strong Woman vs Woman of Strength

A strong woman works out every day,
Pride in her appearance she portrays,
But a woman of strength kneels to pray,
Keeping her soul in shape, God leading the way.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything,
Looking forward to challenges each day will bring,
Women of strength show courage in the midst of fear,
Knowing triumph through faith because the Lord is near.

Strong women won't let anyone get the best of them,
So skilled in defense even if they have to pretend,
Yet a woman of strength gives her best to everyone,
Knowing she’s anointed with blood from the begotten One.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same for tomorrow,
Refusing to take time looking back with reverence and Godly sorrow,
The woman of strength realizes life's mistakes no matter how slim,
While thanking God for the blessings as she capitalizes on them.

A strong woman walks sure footedly with no doubt in her mind,
Again, no matter what, she’ll not make this mistake a second time,
But a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls,
So when a situation arises again, she’s not afraid to answer the call.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face,
Always doing whatever it takes to finish, seeking only first place,
The woman of strength competes with an emotional sense of grace,
Understanding it’s more important to run a Holy Spirit filled race.

A strong woman has faith that for the journey she’ll have enough,
No matter how uneven the terrain or roads being rocky and rough,
A woman of strength knows it’s in the journey she will become strong,
And the love of God is forever with her, no matter how difficult or long.

Jesus.. my best friend

Jesus lover of my soul..
Jesus I will never let you go!!!

Wow how powerful is Jesus... his love for me shines so bright I'm incredibly blessed to know this Jesus of mine... What brought me to this place what made me want Jesus and him only..

I grew up going to church I received Jesus as my Lord and Saviour a few times.. lol it was a constant battle trying to be this girl that loved Jesus but still try and fit in. I was an athlete I wasn't ugly and SEX was always on my mind. I was excited and in a hurry to lose my virginity... and then I did... and never looked back.. Sex had such a strong hold on my life I wanted sex. God tells us the importance of saving ourselves for a reason.. You become one with the person you sleep with.. and then you become one with the next and the next and so on and so on... how many times can u actually give urself until there's no more to give... That was me I was a mess... I wanted so bad to be accepted by my father and he just didn't care... But the real FATHER I needed to be accepted by already accepted me He already LOVED me he CREATED me... But it took me falling all the way to the bottom to realize that his love is all that matters... I started doing drugs... drinking all the time I was stripping.. in a club I never ever thought I'd do that with my life... I stripper never.. but there I was seeing married men whos wives would never even guess they were in the strip club. Government officials, law enforcement officers, Rappers, Ball Players, all around watching me take my clothes off... All driven by a decision I made when I was 16... a decision that took my innocence away... Its not easy to think about all this.. Its not easy at all BUT God has given me this testimony to use to help other young innocent LOST girls... I am very fortunate to have made it out of wordly ways alive.. and even more fortunate that God is using me to tell of his love.. to bring GLORY to him thru pains that I endured... Ive overcome so many things.. self hate... was the biggest... When I look back and reflect on where I've been... I truly smile.. because I am given life thru Jesus and I know where I'm going!!!!

Hoodiesnheels

Everyone keeps asking me what "hoodiesnheels" means... I've heard some CRAAAZY assumptions... but the hoodiesnheels is ME

I have 4 brothers and all boy cousins... it was literally My Grandmas, Aunties, Mom, and me... literally the only girl lol... so naturally I always played with the boys. The cousins and brothers and all their guy friends... so I'm a HUGE tomboy.. I know how to hunt out fish most of the boys I love to go play on quads in the mud... I have been beat up by the boys.. one time they took a cow hot shot to my stomach I had like 12 red spots all over LOL... so needless to say I'm tough and boyish... I love sports video games I can work on a car... BUT then comes the heels... I'm soooo super girly it's rediculous LOL I love pink... so I have pink camo LOL.... yeah yeah I know pink camo doesn't hide u too well in the woods when your trynna be silent and not seen by a deer LOL.. ne way... Hoodiesnheels is ME the tomboy and the girly woman that I am... :)

10 Reasons not to have sex before Marriage.. PUT A RING ON IT

10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage

Reason #1 - God Tells Us Not to Have Sex Outside of MarriageIn the seventh of God's Ten Commandments, he instructs us not to have sex with anyone other than our spouse. It is clear that God forbids sex outside of marriage. When we obey God, he is pleased. He honors our obedience by blessing us.
Deuteronomy 28:1-3
If you fully obey the LORD your God ... [he] will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God ... (NIV)
God has a reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for us. By obeying him, we trust God to look out for our best interests.

Reason #2 - We Won't Miss Out on the Blessing of the Wedding Night
There's something very special about a couple's first time. In this physical act the two become one flesh. Yet it is more than just physical oneness — a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a very special blessing from God.
1 Corinthians 6:16
Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." (The Message)

Reason #3 - We Will Be Spiritually Healthier
If we live as carnal or fleshly Christians, we will seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and live only to please ourselves. If we live this way, the Bible says we cannot please God. We will be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we continue to feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency with sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death.
Romans 8:8,13
Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ... (NIV)

Reason #4 - We Will Be Physically Healthier
This one is a no-brainer. If we refrain from sex outside of marriage, we will be protected from the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT)

Reason #5 - We Will Be Emotionally Healthier
One reason God tells us to honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure has to do with baggage. We carry baggage into our sexual relationships. Memories from the past, emotional scars and unwanted mental images can defile our thoughts and make the marriage bed less than pure. Certainly God can forgive the past, but that doesn't mean we're free from the baggage that can linger in our minds.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (NIV)

Reason #6 - We Will Show Consideration for Our Partner's Well-Being
If we put our partner's needs above our own and consider their spiritual well-being, we'll be compelled to wait for sex. We, like God, will want what's best for them.
Ephesians 5:2
Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. (NLT)
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (NASB)

Reason #7 - Waiting is a Test of True Love
Love is patient. That's about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by their willingness, or lack thereof, to wait.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ... (NIV)

Reason #8 - We Will Have No Negative Consequences to Deal With
There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, broken relationships with family and friends — these are just a few of the possible outcomes we face when we choose to have sex outside of marriage. We should be sure to consider the snow ball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We will be much better off if we avoid these negative consequences.

Reason #9 - We Will Keep Our Christian Testimony Intact
We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (NIV)
In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" when we represent him in the world. When we no longer shine the light of Christ, when we lose our Christian testimony, we lose our "saltiness." In other words, we become flavorless and bland. We lose our ability to attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile.

Reason #10 - We Won't Settle For Less Than God's Perfect Will
When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will — for ourselves and for our partner. And if we do this, we don't know what we might end up with. Perhaps we'll end up in a miserable marriage.
So, here's some food for thought: If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign about their spiritual condition. If you are the one who wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign of your own spiritual condition.

Bent Broken Torn n Tattered But still NEVER Broken

The Key to value and worth is knowing who we are in Jesus... When we know that there is nothing for us to do but stand in awe of the Lord and give him thanks and praise for what he has done for us in Christ...

I have had such an incredible journey in my short 27 years. I walked on this earth trying to find my self worth and value. I knew Jesus him and I had an intimate relationship. He knew me in and out even better then I knew myself. BUT He wasn't enough for me. I wanted more. What we all fail to realize is that... HE HAS EVERYTHING all of this belongs to him and when we accept that we cant do this life without him we will have everything. An over abundance of love support and peace.

Gods will never takes us where his GRACE cant cover us. His mercy has brought me to this point but his GRACE covers me and makes me whole.

Today I'm just giving God his glory this entry is short but I felt the desire to just give it to God today whatever I'm struggling with it's his...

For The First Time Again

I'm jaded from all that I have seen
I'm bitter but dont want to be
I'm believing can you be my unbelief?
Sometimes I think I know too much
But even then it's not enough
Can you take me back so I can move ahead?
Jesus I come.. come to you again
Just like it was the first time
I came to you for new life
I need you now as much as I did then
I need a new beginning
So Jesus I am coming
For the first time again...

For the first time again.. yes AGAIN See this song was about me and so many other people I know. When we have nowhere else to turn to Jesus we go and every single time he welcomes us with open arms, but the things is every time we turn away again. When our troubles are gone when we have that good feeling back and right back down the vicious path we go. Until we fall on our faces again at his feet begging and pleading for him to take the pain away. To take away the brokeness.. How many times do you actually have to do this cycle before you realize LOOK THIS IS WHERE I NEED TO BE... on my face at his feet.. ALWAYS... see God has saved me he had delivered me from self destruction from DEATH... but this time I wont be leaving. BUT lately I have been experiencing attacks from people who seem to be in the same place I use to be. Bitter.. BROKEN.. they keep questioning me saying who do you think you are... you use to do this you use to do that. I dont think I am anyone except a child of God who is yearning to spread his word of forgiveness. I know where I was as a woman and where so many of the woman that come to me are at. The negative words from people dont get me down they drive me to work harder and speak more. I can call them my haters. They would love to see me fail and the thing is if I was they would welcome me with open arms right back into the life of sin and death. I will forever tell people I was on mtv... yes it wasn't the best time of my life. BUT if one girl just one can learn from my story my struggle my pain then that's all that matters... Not the negative words of some person who knows nothing about me but what they see.. See in the end I will answer to only one and that is God. I wont answer to my haters I wont answer to my Pastor I wont answer to my Parents... I will only answer to God so that is how I live my life to please him and him alone.

God is so good... and he loves each and every single one of us. I never thought I'd find someone that would accept me for me and everything that comes with me. Including my PAST... but you know what.. God put a man in my life. A man who knows every secret I have a man that hasn't and wont turn his back on me. Maybe I have tried to push him.. maybe I have found myself in disbelief because no person could ever accept this.. but I was wrong when you put ur faith in God instead of man.. He brings to life things that only you could dream of. I have 2 amazing little girls that are so beautiful that love me and dont judge me. I can only strive to keep them from the pain that I once indured. God promises that when you come to him you will be forgiven and you will be like pure white snow. Because of the blood of Jesus.

Nothing is easy yes you will still pay the consequences of the life you've led but I promise this short time on earth is worth living for God. Because eternity with him is the ultimate reward.

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side..

I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me...

These words are so powerful to me.. before I wrote this I had to sing this song...
Walking by his side.. the side that took the spear while hanging on that cross
dying for me to live.

His scarred hands... yes even in heaven he will carry the scars of the nails that were
driven thru his hands... all this so that I may be saved..

How powerful his love is. How great it feels to know that no matter what happens on this
earth he has a place for me.

God has delivered me from a life of sin. A life that surely was ending in DEATH. The devil had me in his grasp. I can not even imagine where my life would have taken me had I kept living in the flesh. The freedom that I now have. Being released from bondage of sex, partying, and everything else that comes with it.

I know that I have always falled short of Gods grace but daily I strive to bring GLORY to his kingdom and to his name. God is so forgiving... You may not think you are worthy of being forgiven.. but no matter what sin none is greater.. and he promises forgiveness if we just believe.

I've always walked with God. I've always known he was there... looking at me shaking his head at my actions.. knowing he was calling me.. struggling to live in the world running from what he truly had for me. Surrendering my life to the Lord has been the most freeing decision I've ever made..

Thank you Jesus for the ultimate sacrifice... you died for me and I'M LIVING FOR YOU...

Will I stand in your Glory
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing Hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine...

Amen