He's such a jerk.. He played me.. I didn't deserve this.. I'm not that bad of a girlfriend.... WHY?? This is something I hear so too often from women who have a bad break up... BUT GIRLS lets just keep it real for a second.. Sit down self examine. What is it that you were doing. Evaluate your fights.. what were they about?
Let me school you on a few things that really bother guys... even if you dont think it does..
Clinginess... a guy wants to feel needed but he doesn't want to feel like if he goes out with his boys you will lose your mind....
Insecurity... Now chances are you put up a front to get this guy interested if you're insecure.. because most guys wont even go towards an insecure woman she has a huge red flag waving above her head.. so since you put up a front to get him someday the true you will come out you cant hide insecurities forever...
going thru his phone his email his facebook... INSECURE
having something to say about every female he is associated with INSECURE
calling 27 times and texting 53 while he's out with his boys for 4 hours INSECURE
Inability to communicate.. Now ladies you might think men are brainless and only care about football and sex.. BUT THAT IS SO WRONG... men desire a woman that can come to him and express how shes feeling about certain things. Men do desire to fix the issues.. so communication is so necessary. Men are not mind readers if you dont tell them they wont know. So getting mad and screaming and yelling at him is just going to confuse him more and turn him completely off from being in a relationship.
NAGGING him to death... look ladies... nagging a man is one of the worst things you can do.. it's a sure bet he will leave you. Lets just keep it real you dont want to be nagged all day do you? You dont want someone complaining about how you live your life everytime you turn around. Everytime you guys get together your man is complaining.. NOPE so why do it? Even the bible tells us a few things about nagging
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife(even tho your not his wife you get the idea)
Proverbs 27:15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman
I think you get the point.. STOP NAGGING THAT MAN... or he's gonna leave it's just a matter of time.
TRUST IS A MUST... look if you cant trust a man because of what men have done to you in the past you need to STOP... and save this man from the drama you are about to bring into his life. Its up to you to heal from your past before you can enter into something else. Trust also goes along with insecurity... checking his phone emails fb all of it stems from a lack of trust and insecurities. Honestly sis you have no right to be in a relationship right now. That may sting but you need to let God do some work in you and if this man you're dating is the one then he will wait for you TRUST GOD!!
Negative Attitudes...YES even this wears on a mans nerves. He doesn't want to hear your negativity all the time. If your life is so horrible why dont you stop what you're doing and CHANGE... This also includes a lack of desire to become a better person.. none of us can ever stop growing we can always become better and once you get the attitude that you're where you want to be you have lost. No man wants to hear you talk bad about everything in your life.
If the stress out weighs the rewards of the relationship chances are a REAL MAN is not going to stay. He knows his worth he knows that God will reward him for his obedience and a nagging negative insecure non trusting wife is not what God is going to give him. You may be able to throw your money at him or your body, BUT this will not keep him. TRUST ME if you have the mentality that your sex game is gonna keep a man happy you are SO wrong. It may keep him interested in a booty call but as soon as something better looking comes along he will leave you for her. He may call some night that he cant get ahold of his other chic. LADIES know your worth.. Dont be this bitter broken woman that continuously loses every man she dates and sends a piece of herself with him. What I have learned is this.. if you keep it pure and you keep it how God intended you wont lose a piece of you if it comes about that GOD says this isn't what I had for you. IF you haven't given a piece of your soul you have kept it real.. you wont send a piece of yourself. You know a man and a woman who have dated can come to a mutual decision that this isn't what the Lord has for either of us and we cant pursue a romantic relationship but hey since we haven't slept together we dont have a soul tie we can be friends and maybe God intended for something else to come out of our coming together!!! Anyone who says you cant be friends is a liar. God didn't intend for us to go around sleeping with everyone and giving a piece away so that at the end of the day we're mad. NO he intended for us to bring glory to his kingdom... Ladies stop letting your emotions run you and if you're in a place where you cant get control of these things you have no business dating.. slow down let God do his work in you so you're better prepared!!!
Breaking up doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be a growth thing. A learning experience but as long as you remain bitter and broken you will never learn and if you cant learn you cant grow... I love you all!!!
T.I.A.
TRUTH.IN.ACTION
Big shoutout to the guys who gave me their opinions... Michael Pittman, Qasim Mitchell, Pastor Stephen Thompson, Dwight Nash, Bangloose, Mark Laturtue, and Steve Johnson!!! You guys rock thanks for keeping it REAL!!!
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