WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME OR TELL ME WHERE THE LORD HAS PLACED ME??

You know.. it's so true that with breakthroughs come attacks from the devil... and he does this because he sees we're growing and I must say today has been going wonderful and then someone attacked me.. and the thing that bothers me is that it happens so to often in the church and among believers..

See this person said things to me like "some of us have been married longer then you've been saved who are you to give advice on marriage" they did this hiding behind an anonymous formspring message.. Now I cant appreciate or respect that.. and to many not just me it's an obvious attack of the enemy which is sad becaue he's actually using another believe to try and remove me from what the Lord has for me... but I say this because so too often we as believers are attacked from fellow believers it's sad...

There is nothing in the bible that says man chooses what the Lord appoints.. And if I'm wrong then um someone please tell me and show me in the bible.. Nowhere does it say that your amount of time being saved reflects the work you will be called to do in the kingdom.. GOD uses everyone and he has a time and season that he uses them. For someone to come to another brother or sister and tell them you shouldn't be speaking of this is wrong. Why would you at anytime want to hinder what the Lord is doing why would you attack your brother or sister who is only doing what the Lord has called her to do. I can understand a person trying to give correction in an area but that comes from love.. not attack and you cant ever tell someone what their job in the kingdom is. I have a close enough relationship with the Lord that I know what I've been called to do.

What I'm getting at is the sadness that is brought on my heart towards these people who profess to be saved yet they are not showing it. Attacks are not from God... plain and simple. Its a sad reality that some of must face due to my past and me being so OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I'm going to face these attacks by lukewarm Christians.. and it's sad because these kinds of people are who keep our brothers and sisters from being transparent and open which is what God calls us to do. Yes I admit openly I dont know everything. No I haven't been saved for 20 years... But what I am is a walking talking example of what God does. What he places on my heart and what he has prepared me for is what I am doing... But I encourage you if you're attacking a brother or sister because you're mad check yourself... You're hindering Gods glory and the work to be done for his kingdom luckily I would never let someone like that bother me because I know but unfortunetly for some believers who aren't as strong.. will be turned away because of people like that.. I'M JUST SAYING the truth hurts and for some they cant accept it especially not from someone who has been saved for only a small time....

SACRED SCARS

The name Sacred Scars came to me when my ex and I were trying to come up with names for his MMA group... but the name just didn't stick for that.. but for some reason I knew I was going to use this name.. When? I had no idea.. for what? Still didn't know I just know that name got put on my heart!!

When Steve Whyte asked me if I was interested in doing some work with him I instantly knew that's exactly what Sacred Scars was for!!!

Sacred Scars our Testimony... Our pasts.. The things we've been thru that have scarred us.. Mine are my Sacred Scars.. My testimony is so important to my ministry. It's what I've been thru.. Not because God wanted me to hurt like that but because I chose that path and God allowed it... as I reflect on what my life has become I thank God even more for Sacred Scars.. I wouldn't go back in time and change anything I've ever done I dont bow my head in shame at what I have done. I look ahead and up at my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and truly thank him for everything he has given me..

It's the title it's the testimony..

Dear Future Husband

I haven't been perfect as a matter of fact I've been far from it..
I use to settle for his main chic.. I was okay with that..
As long as he came home to me that's all that mattered..
But then I met my sweet Jesus and He showed me something better..
He showed me that He had this amazing man for me..
One that would love me until forever but more importantly would Love Him even more

He showed me that if I waited and didn't settle that the happiness I would experience was beyond imagine
Our sex would be blessed
Our marriage would be a gift
It would show others the sanctity and importance..
It would reveal the love that Jesus truly intedend to be between 2 people

Oh future husband I've waited and prepared for you..
Knowing who you are now is such an amazing thing..
To know you have saved yourself for me..
Even though I'm not perfect you look past it
You look past my past
You see who I am
Your love for God far exceeds what I expected
The fact you lead me is just the very beginning
You truly have been sent from heaven..
Your an angel You make me better
I love you!!!

WAIT!!! When Did Women Become Bitches And Barbie Dolls

OK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH call this blog hatin call me a hater call it what you want.. but I cant hold my tongue anymore. When did it become cool for a woman to self proclaim she's a BITCH? Excuse my language.. but this needs to be addressed.. how can any woman of class or virtue call herself a bitch? hmmm.. and this whole barbie issue.. why would you want to associate yourself to a plastic doll that is easily broken and just as easily replaced...

Is that how women feel about themselves these days??? They are easily expendable..(just in case you dont realize what expendable is.. it means not worth preserving: not worth preserving or saving for reuse) replacable.. I'm sorry but I know that I'm a one of a kind.. God only made one of me.. Ladies.. the Lord says we are above a rubies worth.. I dont know about you but I know that rubies and gems are expensive.. but I can buy a barbie for my lil girl for like $10.. I'd much rather be associated to a rare gem.. LOL this matter is getting out of hand.. so many women (can I even call them women.. ) I'm gonna say GIRLS are walking around with this notion that it is cool to be a barbie and for us to call eachother bitches.. But how do you expect a man to respect you?? You're a babie bitch after all right? Hmmmm I'm sorry if a man called me a bitch I'd be rather irritated... and it shows where a man places you.. I know he'd never call his mom a bitch.. but I guess since we as women want to call ourselves barbies why in the world would a man even respect you as much as he does his momma..

I look at this situation as a slight epidemic.. a disease.. see it's spreading.. women dont have values or self worth.. and it's clearly showing in secular music.. tv.. come on.. You have to get almost naked and call yourself a bitch for the male counterparts... (other rappers) to respect your hustle?? hmmm how about not.. and how about these ball players and rappers going on tv to find love??? WHAT?? First off no woman of any substance or grace is going to go on tv, have sex with you, kiss you after you've just kissed 17 other women, or make a fool out of herself by chasing you.. so why would you even want that kind of woman? UM HELLO can you really take a woman home to meet your parents that got drunk and naked on tv to win your love? smh hey mom this is my biggest groupie.. she only wants me for my money but I think I'm gonna marry her.. wont she make a great mom LOL get it together.. women are screaming WOMAN POWER but all your doing is making women look worse.. teaching our young ladies that it's okay to bounce ur butt on the poll and it's okay to be a groupie a gold digger and have absolutely no morals or values whats so ever..

I think it's time for women to stand up as real women and teach these lost misguided girls how to be a REAL TRUE WOMAN.. and it starts now.. God is very disappointed in us but it doesn't have to remain this way..!!!

Ive said my part for the day... I will be adding to this.. but so far I just had to let it out that my heart is saddened.. and I'm actually on fire about this right now..!! I love you all God Bless

IT'S TIME TO KNOW OUR TRUE WORTH LADIES...

TRANSPARENCY and why I've chosen to be so open..

Transparency : state of being transparent: the quality or state of being transparent

Today I actually doubted being so open about my past and being transparent and as soon as the doubt came it left. WHY? Because my transparency is my #truth my truth is Jesus and I have this testimony and there's no reason for me not to be absolutely honest..

Let me tell you why I am so honest and open about my past and my present.. I have a past that is scarred it is ugly. I have done some things that aren't so pretty. Yes I have lived a glamorous lifestyle had everything I ever wanted.. built a career in the entertainment industry. I've done it all. Along with that came some ugly non glamorous things.. Its important for me to open myself to people because it is what God is leading me to do. When I meet someone I don't hold back if you don't know where I've come from and find out later it usually isn't pretty. BUT what I have experienced since returning to my walk with Jesus is the more open and honest I am with my past the more I'm respected and loved. Its amazing men I thought would turn away from me after they found out have been more and more supportive. Women who would normally turn away because they don't wanna be associated with someone like me have grasped onto me.. and actually call me their sister and friend. WOW the Kingdom has really raised up some MIGHTY people and when I'm down from the world they have reminded me how much they really love me and my past is nothing but a testimony and to some an inspiration. ARE YOU SERIOUS? These are real people.. and had I held back or lied I don't think they would be so understanding because when you have something you're lying about and holding back... people know.. TRUST me I have figured that out.. I have turned over a life of lies and gave it up. Lies build webs and you get caught up in them.

How would you feel if your man lied to you about his whole past.. and then eventually one of your friends or family members tells you... silence.. yeah it wouldn't be an easy thing to swallow. All kinds of things are going to go thru your head like why didn't he tell me.. You will be angry and if it's bad enough your probably gonna leave him.. BUT what if he had been honest with you sat you down and said LOOK this is where I've been I'm not proud of my past but I have overcome it.. I HAVE been forgiven but I need you know the truth about me... WOW how can you walk away from that even if it is horrible.. I couldn't I had a guy look me in my eyes and tell me he had been with over 500 women.. He had cheated on everyone even his ex wife.. he was so transparent and honest.. I couldn't walk away I think the night he told me that was the night I knew I was in it for the long haul.. although we didn't work out we left on good terms if just wasn't meant to be.. BUT we walked away without anger and hurt.. WOW we're still friends.. and that can happen when 2 people are completely honest and open..

When you go into a relationship lying and holding back your not giving your relationship a fighting chance. You cant enter a relationship with past wounds and hurt especially that you think you need to lie about. Its a recipe for complete disaster. God tells us not to lie and it's for a reason lie built upon lie upon lie.. it's not the fact you lied it's the fact that after you lied I cant trust you and why did you feel like you needed to lie did you think I couldn't handle the truth? Guys think women can handle the truth and for a long time I didn't think men could ever handle my truth. I was sooo wrong and God showed me that.

Yes there are some people that are definitely using my past against me even today some hurting woman is using it against me to raise herself up and make herself feel better about who she is. You just have to know that the people that are using your past against you are people who are hurting and broken. They have to pull you apart because they cant face themselves. Its not a happy place to be. I use to be that chic the one who would put others down to make myself feel better because I didn't care about myself and where I was. You really just have to pray for these people because there's nothing you can do. They have to find themselves and who they are and allow the Lord to heal them...

I thank God daily for giving me the testimony he has for allowing me to walk down the path I did in order to see what I needed to.. I wouldn't take back anything Ive done it makes me who I am and who I am I LOVE and can say that with a smile and finally believe it. I encourage you to be open to be transparent.. don't hold back.. Gods gonna get some glory out of our mess and if you can help someone avoid the mistakes you made.. that's all that matters.. THANK YOU GOD

GOD TO YOU BE THE GLORY YOU ARE AMAZING AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE YOU SHOW ME DAY IN AND DAY OUT...

Tia