TRANSPARENCY and why I've chosen to be so open..

Transparency : state of being transparent: the quality or state of being transparent

Today I actually doubted being so open about my past and being transparent and as soon as the doubt came it left. WHY? Because my transparency is my #truth my truth is Jesus and I have this testimony and there's no reason for me not to be absolutely honest..

Let me tell you why I am so honest and open about my past and my present.. I have a past that is scarred it is ugly. I have done some things that aren't so pretty. Yes I have lived a glamorous lifestyle had everything I ever wanted.. built a career in the entertainment industry. I've done it all. Along with that came some ugly non glamorous things.. Its important for me to open myself to people because it is what God is leading me to do. When I meet someone I don't hold back if you don't know where I've come from and find out later it usually isn't pretty. BUT what I have experienced since returning to my walk with Jesus is the more open and honest I am with my past the more I'm respected and loved. Its amazing men I thought would turn away from me after they found out have been more and more supportive. Women who would normally turn away because they don't wanna be associated with someone like me have grasped onto me.. and actually call me their sister and friend. WOW the Kingdom has really raised up some MIGHTY people and when I'm down from the world they have reminded me how much they really love me and my past is nothing but a testimony and to some an inspiration. ARE YOU SERIOUS? These are real people.. and had I held back or lied I don't think they would be so understanding because when you have something you're lying about and holding back... people know.. TRUST me I have figured that out.. I have turned over a life of lies and gave it up. Lies build webs and you get caught up in them.

How would you feel if your man lied to you about his whole past.. and then eventually one of your friends or family members tells you... silence.. yeah it wouldn't be an easy thing to swallow. All kinds of things are going to go thru your head like why didn't he tell me.. You will be angry and if it's bad enough your probably gonna leave him.. BUT what if he had been honest with you sat you down and said LOOK this is where I've been I'm not proud of my past but I have overcome it.. I HAVE been forgiven but I need you know the truth about me... WOW how can you walk away from that even if it is horrible.. I couldn't I had a guy look me in my eyes and tell me he had been with over 500 women.. He had cheated on everyone even his ex wife.. he was so transparent and honest.. I couldn't walk away I think the night he told me that was the night I knew I was in it for the long haul.. although we didn't work out we left on good terms if just wasn't meant to be.. BUT we walked away without anger and hurt.. WOW we're still friends.. and that can happen when 2 people are completely honest and open..

When you go into a relationship lying and holding back your not giving your relationship a fighting chance. You cant enter a relationship with past wounds and hurt especially that you think you need to lie about. Its a recipe for complete disaster. God tells us not to lie and it's for a reason lie built upon lie upon lie.. it's not the fact you lied it's the fact that after you lied I cant trust you and why did you feel like you needed to lie did you think I couldn't handle the truth? Guys think women can handle the truth and for a long time I didn't think men could ever handle my truth. I was sooo wrong and God showed me that.

Yes there are some people that are definitely using my past against me even today some hurting woman is using it against me to raise herself up and make herself feel better about who she is. You just have to know that the people that are using your past against you are people who are hurting and broken. They have to pull you apart because they cant face themselves. Its not a happy place to be. I use to be that chic the one who would put others down to make myself feel better because I didn't care about myself and where I was. You really just have to pray for these people because there's nothing you can do. They have to find themselves and who they are and allow the Lord to heal them...

I thank God daily for giving me the testimony he has for allowing me to walk down the path I did in order to see what I needed to.. I wouldn't take back anything Ive done it makes me who I am and who I am I LOVE and can say that with a smile and finally believe it. I encourage you to be open to be transparent.. don't hold back.. Gods gonna get some glory out of our mess and if you can help someone avoid the mistakes you made.. that's all that matters.. THANK YOU GOD

GOD TO YOU BE THE GLORY YOU ARE AMAZING AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE YOU SHOW ME DAY IN AND DAY OUT...

Tia